Tax Jokes
and Quotes
Richard A. Chapo
Do you realize
that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?
Quote: “Two
years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the
IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress.” -
Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner
Disappointed that you never had
time to write the great American novel? Don’t fret, just go dig
out your past tax returns.
Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State
Building after taxes."
Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man
with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they
had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, “There is now.”
Quote: “It
would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but
normally cash is required.”
Q: Who audits IRS agents?
Quote: “Next
to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an
income tax refund.”
Q: How do you drive a CPA insane? A: Fill out
Form 1040EZ.
Quote: “The government deficit is the difference between the
amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the
nerve to collect."
Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return,
it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is
considered tax evasion?
Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the
time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."
Q: How do you
humble a person that flaunts their wealth?
A: Have them fill out a tax
return.
Quote: “Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you
don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.”
Q: Why is a
tax audit like a tornado?
A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up
losing your house.
Quote: “When are we going to be allowed to list
the government as a dependent?”
People often say death and taxes are
the same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes
never die.
Richard Chapo is CEO of http://www.businesstaxrecovery.com - Obtaining tax
refunds for small businesses by finding overlooked tax deductions
and credits through a free tax return review.